Why should I do it?
- Students are more likely to listen to your input when it’s done away from others
- It gives cool down time for both you and the student before discussing an issue
- It provides the student a chance to state his thoughts and feelings
When should I do it?
- When a behavior has caused disruption to the class or the student’s day
How do I do it?
- This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk
- Keep responses brief; avoid lecturing
- Try re-direction if student is able to be de-escalated
- Remove student from situation and make an appointment time to talk about the issue
- Use reflective listening “I am hearing that you feel this assignment is unnecessary” “I hear you telling me that he took your toy away”
- Ask open ended questions
- Use body language that represents openness: If you are sitting, keep legs uncrossed and lean toward the person; If you are standing, keep arms uncrossed and legs open—people often mirror their emotional response with others’ body language
- Use humor
- Validate student’s feelings:
Aggression: “I know that you got mad after that”
Sadness: “ I can see you are sad about this”
Anxiety: “When you tap your feet, I’m guessing you are worried about the test”
Confrontation: “I need to talk to you about your calling your friend a name”
- Teach alternatives
“Tell me some things you could have done differently” “The next time, you get mad, try walking away and taking a break”
“When you get worried about your tests, try to think of all the tests you’ve taken and done great on”